Let Loose Of The Halloween Candy

We all have things we are proud of in our life. Whether it’s some kind of achievement, promotion, or recognition.

I once did the CrossFit workout ‘Grace’, which is 30 clean and jerks with 135 pounds, in 1:24. That’s a pretty legit time. I’ve also eaten a 10-ounce bag of Reece’s Pieces in one sitting. You know the bags that have the ziplock seal? Well, that’s never used when I dig into a bag.

As a CrossFit coach, the fast Grace time I’m really proud of achieving, but eating an entire bag of candy in one sitting is not my proudest moment.

It would be an understatement to say I have a sweet tooth, which is what makes Halloween so difficult. Everywhere you go there are little bite-size candies for you to take. Then your kids bring home a bag full of candy from school and then add to it on Halloween night. And as a good parent, you can’t let them eat all that kind by themselves. So first you start with eating the kind of candy that you like, then the kind you want to try, and then at that point it’s over. You’re just eating candy to eat candy.

So, I want to encourage you to have a plan for Sunday, the day after Halloween, and not indulge in useless candy. Let’s be honest, it’s not that good anyway. Or, at least that’s what I tell myself.

First, you can take the Jimmy Kimmel approach and tell your kids you ate all of their candy. I don’t recommend actually eating all of the candy, but beware of a lot of crying. (If you do this and post it on social media, please tag @Noexcusescrossfit I would love to see it.)

You can go the Switch Witch route and take all of your kid’s candy and exchange it for a toy. It’s kind of like the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus joined forces for this idea.

Finally, you can have each person choose 5 pieces of candy they want to keep and get rid of the rest. And when I say get rid of it, I actually mean destroy it. Don’t put it in the trashcan where in a moment of weakness you can dig through the trash for that Snickers bar. I mean actually destroy it. Set it on fire, put it in a blender with Worcestershire sauce, and pickle juice, so it’s no longer edible.

Then go to the gym on Monday and crush the workout not hungover from a candy-induced coma over the weekend.